mindless thoughts

List of Books

2010-10-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

	ADD Help
1		Chapter 11 Time Management: Learning to Use a Day Planner	National Resource Center on ADHD
2		Chapter 12 A Guide to Organizing the Home and Office	National Resource Center on ADHD
3		Chapter 13 Social Skills in Adults with AD/HD	National Resource Center on ADHD
4		ADHD: A Clinical Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment for Health and Mental Health Professionals Third Edition	Larry B. Silverman, M. D.
5		A Guide to the Treatment of Adults With ADHD	Margaret D. Weiss, M.D., Ph.D., and Jacqueline R. Weiss, M.D.
6		ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDERS	Evelyn Kelly
7		Attention Deficit Disorder The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults	Thomas E. Brown, Ph.D.
8		THE ADD & ADHD Answer Book	SUSAN ASHLEY, PHD
9		Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder A Multidisciplinary Approach	Henryk Holowenko
10		ADHD IN ADULTS WHAT THE SCIENCE SAYS	Russell A. Barkley Kevin R. Murphy Mariellen Fischer
11		Attention Deficit Disorder Practical Coping Mechanisms Second Edition	Edited by Barbara C. Fisher, Ph.D.
12		Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Concepts, Controversies, New Directions	Edited by Keith McBurnett, Linda Pfiffner
13		Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Handbook A Physician’s Guide to ADHD	J. Gordon Millichap
14		Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder	Jeremy Peirce, Ph.D. Series Editor Christine Collins, Ph.D. Foreword by Pat Levitt, Ph.D.
15		Clinicians’ Guide To Adult ADHD Assessment and Intervention	Sam Goldstein, Anne Teeter Ellison
16		Attention-Deficit Third Edition Hyperactivity Disorder A HANDBOOK FOR DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT	RUSSELL A. BARKLEY
17		Dyslogic Syndrome Why Millions of Kids are “Hyper,” Attention-Disordered, Learning Disabled, Depressed, Aggressive, Defiant, or Violent – and What We Can Do About It	Bernard Rimland
18		HANDBOOK OF Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder	Edited by MICHAEL FITZGERALD, MARK BELLGROVE and MICHAEL GILL
19		The Attentive Brain	edited by Raja Parasuraman
20		the learning brain lessons for education	Sarah-Jayne Blakemore and Uta Frith
21		Treating ADHD and Comorbid Disorders Psychosocial and Psychopharmacological Interventions	Steven R. Pliszka
22		WHAT CAUSES ADHD? Understanding What Goes Wrong and Why	JOEL T. NIGG
23		ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER From Genes to Patients	DAVID GOZAL, MD, and DENNIS L. MOLFESE, PhD
24		Battling Disorganization	REPRINTED FROM THE AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2004 ISSUE OF ADDITUDE MAGAZINE
25		Applied Neuropsychology of Attention	Edited by Michel Leclercq and Peter Zimmermann

	Fiction Collections
1		Artemis Fowl - The Artemis Fowl Files	Eoin Colfer
2		Artemis Fowl 1 - Artemis Fowl	Eoin Colfer
3		Artemis Fowl 2 - The Arctic Incident	Eoin Colfer
4		Artemis Fowl 3 - the Eternity Code	Eoin Colfer
5		Artemis Fowl 4 - The Opal Deception	Eoin Colfer
6		Artemis Fowl 5 - The Lost Colony	Eoin Colfer
7		Artemis Fowl 6 - Time Paradox	Eoin Colfer
8		Artemis Fowl 7 - The Atlantis Complex	Eoin Colfer
9		Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom	Cory Doctorow
10		Eastern Standard Tribe	Cory Doctorow
11		Little Brother	Cory Doctorow
12		Makers	Cory Doctorow
13		Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town	Cory Doctorow
14		Fast Times at Fairmont High	Cory Doctorow
15		Dexter 1 - Darkly Dreaming Dexter	Jeff Lindsay
16		Dexter 2 - Dearly Devoted Dexter	Jeff Lindsay
17		Dexter 3 - Dexter in the Dark	Jeff Lindsay
18		Dexter 4 - Dexter by Design	Jeff Lindsay
19		His Dark Materials 1 - The Golden Compass	Philip Pullman
20		His Dark Materials 2 - The Subtle Knife	Philip Pullman
21		His Dark Materaisl 3 - The Amber Spyglass	Philip Pullman
22		Blue Bloods Series 1 - Blue Bloods	Melissa De La Cruz
23		Blue Bloods Series 2 - Masquerade	Melissa De La Cruz
24		Blue Bloods Series 3 - Revelation	Melissa De La Cruz
25		Blue Bloods Series 4 - The Van Alen Legacy	Melissa De La Cruz
26		Pages From A Journal	Neil Gaiman
27		Cinnamon	Neil Gaiman
28		Eaten	Neil Gaiman
29		Books Have Sexes	Neil Gaiman
30		Major Arcana from the Vampire Tarot	Neil Gaiman
31		Feeders and Eaters	Neil Gaiman
32		Tales in the Sand	Neil Gaiman
33		A Study in Emerald	Neil Gaiman
34		The Witch's Headstone	Neil Gaiman
35		Goliath	Neil Gaiman
36		Murder Mysteries	Neil Gaiman
37		Stardust	Neil Gaiman
38		Coraline	Neil Gaiman
39		Dream Hunter	Neil Gaiman
40		Good Omens	Neil Gaiman
41		Sandman	Neil Gaiman
42		Anansi Boys	Neil Gaiman
43		American Gods	Neil Gaiman
44		Don't Panic	Neil Gaiman
45		The Graveyard Book	Neil Gaiman
46		Neverwhere	Neil Gaiman
47		Nessun Dove	Neil Gaiman
48		Smoke and Mirrors	Neil Gaiman
49		Book of Dreams	Neil Gaiman
50		Fragile Things	Neil Gaiman
51		M is for Magic	Neil Gaiman
52		Night Watch Series 1 - Night Watch	Sergei Lukyanenko
53		Night Watch Series 2 - Day Watch	Sergei Lukyanenko
54		Night Watch Series 3 - Twilight Watch	Sergei Lukyanenko
55		Night Watch Series 4 - The Last Watch	Sergei Lukyanenko
56		The Zahir	Paulo Coelho
57		Eleven Minutes	Paulo Coelho
58		The Pilgrimage	Paulo Coelho
59		The Witch of Portobello	Paulo Coelho
60		The Devil and Miss Prym	Paulo Coelho
61		By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept	Paulo Coelho
62		The Alchemist	Paulo Coelho
63		Brida	Paulo Coelho
64		The Manual of the Warrior of Light	Paulo Coelho
65		Saga of Seven Suns 1 - Hidden Empire	Kevin J. Anderson
66		Saga of Seven Suns 2 - A Forest of Stars	Kevin J. Anderson
67		Saga of Seven Suns 3 - Horizon Storms	Kevin J. Anderson
68		Saga of Seven Suns 4 - Scattered Suns	Kevin J. Anderson
69		Saga of Seven Suns 5 - Of Fire and Night	Kevin J. Anderson
70		Saga of Seven Suns 6 - Metal Swarm	Kevin J. Anderson
71		Saga of Seven Suns 7 - The Ashes of the Worlds	Kevin J. Anderson
72		Shopaholic 1 - Confessions of a Shopaholic	Sophie Kinsella
73		Shopaholic 2 - Shopaholic Takes Manhattan	Sophie Kinsella
74		Shopaholic 3 - Shopaholic Ties the Knot	Sophie Kinsella
75		Shopaholic 4 - Shopaholic and Sister	Sophie Kinsella
76		Shopaholic 5 - Shopaholic and Baby	Sophie Kinsella
77		Shopaholic 6 - Mini Shopaholic	Sophie Kinsella
78		Demonata 1 - Lord Loss	Darren Shan
79		Demonata 2 - Demon Thief	Darren Shan
80		Demonata 3 - Slawter	Darren Shan
81		Demonata 4 - Bec	Darren Shan
82		Demonata 5 - Blood Beast	Darren Shan
83		Demonata 6 - Demon Apocalypse	Darren Shan
84		Demonata 7 - Death's Shadow	Darren Shan
85		Demonata 8 - Wolf Island	Darren Shan
86		Demonata 9 - Dark Calling	Darren Shan
87		Demonata 10	Darren Shan
88		The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle	Haruki Murakami
89		Three German Fantasies	Haruki Murakami
90		Norwegian Wood	Haruki Murakami
91		Dance Dance Dance	Haruki Murakami
92		South of the Border, West of the Sun	Haruki Murakami
93		Sputnik Sweetheart	Haruki Murakami

	Japanese Guide
1		Remembering the Kanji 1	James W. Heisig
2		Remembering the Kanji 2	James W. Heisig
3		Remembering the Kanji 3	James W. Heisig
4		A Japanese Guide to Japanese Grammar	Tae Kim
5		light novel - Bakemonogatari volume 1
6		light novel - Bakemonogatari volume 2
7		light novel - Kizumonogatari
8		light novel - Nisemonogatari volume 1
9		light novel - Nisemonogatari volume 2

	Math Crap
1		geom files (web pages and text files rar archive)
2		Geometry Demystified	Stan Gibilisco
3		How to Solve It: A New Aspect of Mathematical Method	G. Polya
4		Conditional and Preferential Logics: Proof Methods and Theorem Proving	Gian Luca Pozzato
5		Algorithms and Computation in Mathematics volume 10	Editors Arjeh M. Cohen Henri Cohen David Eisenbud Michael F. Singer Bernd Sturmfels
6		Dr. Math Introduces Geometry	The Math Forum Drexel University
7		Geometry - Concepts and Applications	Glencoe / McGraw-Hill
8		How to Read and Do Proofs (djvu)	Solow

	Navy Electronics Traning Series
1		Module 1 - Matter Energy and DC
2		Module 2 - AC and Tranformers
3		Module 3 - Circuit Protection Control and Measurement
4		Module 4 - Conductors Wiring and Schematic Reading
5		Module 5 - Generators and Motors
6		Module 6 - Electronic Emission Tubes and Power Supply
7		Module 7 - Solid-State Devices and Power Supplies
8		Module 8 - Amplifiers
9		Module 9 - Wave-Generation and Wave-Shaping Circuits
10		Module 10 - Wave Propagation Transmission Lines and Antennas
11		Module 11 - Microwave Principles
12		Module 12 - Modulation Principles
13		Module 13 - Number Systems and Logic Circuits
14		Module 14 - Microelectronics
15		Module 15 - Principles of Syncros Servos and Gyros
16		Module 16 - Test Equipment
17		Module 17 - Radio Frequency Communications Principles
18		Module 18 - Radar Principles
19		Module 19 - The Technicians Handbook
20		Module 20 - Master Glossary
21		Module 21 - Test Methods and Practices
22		Module 22 - Digital Computers
23		Module 23 - Magnetic Recording
24		Module 24 - Fiber Optics

	Nursing
1		Medical Surgical Nursing
2		Textbook of Medical - Surgical Nursing	Brunner and Suddarth
3		Understanding Medical Surgical Nursing	Linda S. Williams, Paula D. Hopper
4		Medical Surgical Nursing Demystified	Mary DiGiulio, RN, MSN, APRN Donna Jackson, RN, MSN, APRN Jim Keogh

	Other Stuff
1		Survival+ : Structuring for Yourself and the Nation	Charles Hugh Smith
2		Save Your Brain: 5 Things You Must Do To Keep Your Mind Young and Sharp	Paul David Nussbaum, Ph. D.
3		Your Brain at Work : Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long (epub)	David Rock
4		Clinical Guide to Nutrition and Dietary Supplements in Disease Management	Jennifer Jamison
5		The Grouchy Grammarian	Thomas Parrish
6		How to Pass Selection Tests: Essential Preparation for Numerical, Verbal, Clerical, and IT Tests 4th Edition	Mike Bryon and Sanjay Modha
7		Death by Deception: Advanced Improvised Booby Traps	Jo Jo Gonzales
8		World War II Axis Booby Traps and Sabotage Tactics	Gordon L. Rottman
9		The Laptop Repair Workbook: An Introduction to Troubleshooting and Repairing Laptop Computers	Morris Rosenthal
10		Steal This Book	Abbie Hoffman
11		The Elements of Style 4th Edition	William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White
12		Ubuntu Pocket Guide and Reference: A Concise Companion for Day-to-Day Ubuntu Use	Keir Thomas
13		Queen Seon Deok Episode 61 English Subtitles (srt)	In The Heavens Subbing Squad
14		Queen Seon Deok Episode 62 English Subtitles (srt)	In The Heavens Subbing Squad
15		Calculus Refresher, version 2008.4	Paul Garrett
17		Electronic Devices	Thomas L. Floyd
18		Fundamentals of Physics Extended, 8th Edition	David Halliday, Robert Resnick, Jearl Walker

	Random Fiction
1		Sleeping Beauty 2 - Beauty's Punishment	Anne Rice
2		Sleeping Beauty 3 - Beauty's Release	Anne Rice
3		Interview with a Vampire	Anne Rice
4		A Clockwork Orange	Anthony Burgess
5		Atlas Shrugged	Ayn Rand
6		Fountainhead	Ayn Rand
7		Perdido Street Station	China Mieville
8		Cryptonomicon	Neal Stephenson
9		Snow Crash	Neal Stephenson
10		[01] Foundation	Isaac Asimov
11		[02] Second Foundation	Isaac Asimov
12		[03] Foundation and Empire	Isaac Asimov
13		Sophie's World	Jostien Gaarder
14		Love in the Time of Cholera	Gabriel Garcia Marquez
15		The Sparrow	Mary Doria Russell
16		A Scanner Darkly	Philip K. Dick
17		Stranger in a Strange Land	Robert A. Heinlein
18		Solaris	Stanislaw Lem
19		Grass	Sheri S. Tepper
20		A Fire Upon Deep	Vernor Vinge
21		Pattern Recognition	William Gibson
22		The Little Prince	Antoine de Saint Exupéry

	Self-Help
		Who Moved My Cheese?	Spencer Johnson, M. D.
1		Art of War	Sun Tzu
2		Speed Reading Monster Course
3		Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity	David Allen
4		How to Win Friends and Influence People	Dale Carnegie
5		The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People	Stephen Covey
6		A Truthful Heart: Buddhist Practices for Connecting with Others	Jeffrey Hopkins
7		The Power of Now	Eckhart Tolle
8		A New Earth	Eckhart Tolle
9		How to Talk so People Listen: The Real Key to Job Success	Sonya Hamlin
10		Managing Thought	Mary J. Lore
11		Goals! : How To Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible	Brian Tracy
12		The Sunday Times Develop Your Assertiveness 2nd Edition	Sue Bishop
13		Abstract Hacktivism: The Making of a Hacker Culture	Otto Von Busch and Karl Palmas
14		Personal Development for Smart People	Steve Pavlina
15		Psycho-Cybernetics	Maxwell Maltz
16		The Science of Influence: How to get anyone to say yes!	Kevin Hogan
17		Awaken the Writer Within 3rd Edition	Cathy Birch
18		Critical Thinking for Students: Learn the Skills of Critical Assessment and Effective Argument 3rd Edition	Roy van den Brink-Budgen
19		The New Secrets of Charisma : How to Discover and Unleash Your Hidden Powers Revised Edition (chm)	Doe Lang
20		How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends	Don Gabor
21		Mind Tools (web pages rar archive)

	Coedz
		Think Python: How to Think Like a Computer Scientist version 1.1.19	Allen Downey
1		Practical Programming: An Introduction to Computer Science Using Python	Jennifer Campbell, Paul Gries, Jason Montojo and Greg Wilson
2		C Programming for the Absolute Beginner 2nd edition	Michael Vine
3		C Programming in Linux	David Haskins
4

	Employment
		2500 Keywords to Get You Hired	Jay A. Block
1		Be Prepared! Getting Ready For Job Interviews	Julie - Ann Amos
2		Fearless Interviewing: How to Win the Job by Communicating with Confidence	Marky Stein
3		Get Hired in a Tough Market: Insider Secrets to Find and Land the Job You Need Now	Alan De Back
4		How Would You Move Mount Fuji? Microsoft's Cult of the Puzzle	William Poundstone
5		How People Tick: A Guide to Over 50 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal With Them 2nd Edition	Mike Liebling
6		Disaster Proof Your Career: Tactics to Survive, Thrive and Keep Ahead in the Workplace	Patrick Forsyth
7		The Image of Success: Make a Great Impression and Land the Job You Want	Lizandra Vega
8		A Survival Guide for Working With Bad Bosses: Dealing with Bullies, Idiots, Back-stabbers and Othe Managers From Hell	Gini Graham Scott, Ph. D.
9		Technical Support Essentials	Andres R. Sanchez
10		A Whole New Mind, Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future	Daniel H. Pink
11		Landing Your First Job: Surefire Ways to Finding the Right Job, Successful Interviewing and Getting the Offer	Andrew Goldsmith
12		The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership (chm)	David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey
13		Surviving a Layoff: A Week-by-Week Guide to Getting Your Life Back Together	Lita Epstein, MBA

	Business
1		The Sunday Times - How To Write A Business Plan 3rd Edition	Brian Finch
2		Portfolios of the Poor - How the World's Poor Live on 2$ a Day	Daryl Collins, Jonathan Morduch, Stuart Rutherford and Orlanda Ruthven
3		The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing	Al Ries and Jack Trout
4		Awakening the Entrepreneur Within - How Ordinary People Can Create Extraordinary Companies	Michael E. Gerber
5		Business Plans Handbook - A Compilation of Actual Business Plans Developed by Businesses Throughout North America Volume 5
6		Harvard Business School Publishing - Blue Ocean Strategy - How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant	W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne
7		Outliers - The Story of Success	Malcolm Gladwell
8		The Tipping Point - How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference	Malcolm Gladwell
9		Wharton School Publishing - Success Built to Last - Creating A Life That Matters	Jerry Porras , Stewart Emery and Mark Thompson
10		UP in the Black - Size UP. Draw UP. Crank UP. An Overview of How to Start a Business (powerpoint presentation)	Fitz VillaFuerte
11		29 Leadership Secrets From Jack Welch	Robert Slater
12		The McGraw-Hill 36- Hour Course - Business Writing and Communication 2nd Edition	Kenneth W. Davis, Ph. D.
13		Leadership Sopranos Style: How To Become A More Effective Boss (chm)	Deborrah Himsel
14		Psych Yourself Rich: Get the Mindset and Discipline You Need to Build Your Financial Life	Farnoosh Torabi
15		MBA in a Day - What You Would Learn At Top-Tier Business Schools	Steven Stralser, Ph. D.
16		The Sunday Times - How To Motivate People 2nd Edition	Patrick Forsyth
17		The Harvard Business Review Annotated Bibliography - All Articles, 1922 through 2007, with Indexes to Authors, Titles and Subjects	Stephen K. Johnson
18		Mastering Business English : How to Sharpen up Your Communication Skills at Work 4th Edition (epub?)	Michael Bennie
19		Harvard Business Review on Decision Making
20		How To Say It - Business Writing That Works	Adina Rishe Gewirtz
21		Business Plans Handbook - A Compilation of Actual Business Plans Developed by Businesses Throughout North America Volume 18	Lynn M. Pearce, Project Editor
22		The Sunday Times How To Write A Business Plan 2nd Edition	Brian Finch
23		Making the Business Case - Proposals That Succeed for Projects That Work	Ian Gambles

	Baking
1		The 47 Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World - Recipes that won the National Chocolate Chip Cookie Contest	Larry and Honey Zisman
2		50 Easy Party Cakes	Debbie Brown
3		700 Cake Recipes
4		Delicious Candy Recipes - The Ultimate Candy Cookbook for America's Sweet Tooth
5		Fast Meals and Quick Snacks - A Cookbook for Teens 2nd Edition	U. S. Department of Agriculture
6		How To Bake - Your Complete Reference Book	Dennis R. Weaver and The Prepared Pantry
7		Martha Stewart's Cookies	Martha Stewart
8		Good Housekeeping - The Great Christmas Cookie Swap Cookbook 60 Large Batch Recipes to Bake and Share
9		Top Secret Recipes - Creating Kitchen Clones Of America's Favorite Brand-Name Foods	Todd Wilbur
10		Williams-Sonoma Cake	Fran Gage
11		baking stuff web pages (rar archive)

	Agri
1		Technology Transfer Strategies And Experiences On Urban and Peri-Urban Agriculture	Simeon S. Crucido , Antonio G. Papa, and Tita T. Garcia
2		Container Gardening: A Way of Growing Vegetables in the City	Kilian S. Devesa and Robert J. Holmer
3		Women Feeding Cities Chapter 3 Gender in jasmine flower-garland livelihoods in peri-urban Metro Manila, Philippines	Raul M. Boncodin, Arma R. Bertuso, Jaime A. Gallentes, Dindo M. Campilan, Rehan Abeyratne and Helen F. Dayo
4		Women Feeding Cities Chapter 15 Incorporating Gender in Urban Agricultural projects
5		Women Feeding Cities Chapter 16 Beyond the Project Cycle: Institutionalizing Gender Mainstreaming
6		Women Feeding Cities Chapter 17 Tool-Box for Gender Sensitive Urban Agriculture Projects
7		Women Feeding Cities Chapter 18 Resources (Annotated Bibliography)
8		Farming in the City: An Annotated Bibliography of Urban and Peri-urban Agriculture in Vietnam with Emphasis on Hanoi	Ngyuyen Thi Tinh, Maarten Warnaars, Ta Thi Bich Duyen, Tran Thi Bich Ngoc
9		Synthesis Bean Program	International Center for Tropical Agriculture (CIAT)
10		Urban Agriculture in Naga City - Cultivating Sustainable Livelihoods Cultivating Sustainable Livelihoods June 2007	Kathryn Hill, Dee Dee Quinnelly, Kaitlin Kazmierowski
11		Philippine Allotment Garden Manual - with an Introduction on Ecological Sanitation	Periurban Vegetable Project (PUVeP) Xavier University College of Agriculture
12		Knott's Handbook for Vegetable Growers 5th Edition	Donald N. Maynard, George J. Hochmuth
13		Healthy City Harvests: Generating Evidence To Guide Policy on Urban Agriculture	Editors: Donald Cole, Diana Lee-Smith, George Nasinyama
14		Advances in Global Change Research37 - Climate Change and Food Security - Adapting Agriculture to a Warmer World	Editors: David Lobell, Marshall Burke
15		The Profitable Hobby Farm - How to Build a Sustainable Local Foods Business	Sara Beth Aubrey
16		Sustainable Agriculture Reviews Volume 1 - Organic Farming, Pest Control and Remediation of Soil Pollutants	Dr. Eric lichtfouse, Editor
17		The Self Sufficient Gardener	John Seymour
18		Growing Herbs Indoors	Gardening by the Yard: episode gby-910 Home and Garden Television
19		Pesticide Certification Training Series - First Aid for Pesticide Poisoning	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
20		Safe Use of Pesticides in the Home and Garden	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
21		Improving Garden Soil Fertility	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
22		Using Pesticides in Greenhouses	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
23		Insects and Related Pests of House Plants	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
24		Plant Galls Cause by Insects and Mites	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
25		Organic Vegetable Gardening	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
26		The Bagworm and its Control	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
27		Why Do Trees Die?	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
28		Culinary Herbs FAQ	Henriette Kress
29		Controlling Turf Pests	How to Booklet (?)
30		The Hobby Greenhouse	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
31		You Can Control Garden Insects	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
32		Earth-Kind Gardening Series Cultural Control Practices	Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service - Oklahoma State University
33		How to Recognize and Prevent Tree Hazards	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
34		Harvesting and Storing - Fresh Garden Vegetables - with Notes on Nutrition	Jo Ann Robbins, Wm. Michael Colt, Martha Raidl
35		Controlling Vegetable Pests Organically	How to Booklet (?)
36		Insect Defoliators of Ornamental Trees and Shrubs	Agricultural Extension Service - The University of Tennessee
37		Disease and Insect Control in Home Fruit Plantings	Steve Bost, Karen Vail, Frank Hale
38		The Seeds of Concern - The Genetic Manipulation of Plants	David R. Murray
39		Gardening in the Zone - Container Gardening	Liz Gilman, Iowa Gardening Magazine
40		Tissue Culture in the Home Kitchen - Its not as hard as you think!	Rick Walker
41		The One-Straw Revolution	Masanobu Fukuoka
42		The Gardener's Handbook	Louchuck
43		Fundamentals of Organic Agriculture	Iowa State University - University Extension
44		Organic Gardening for Dummies 2nd Edition	Ann Whitman, Suzanne DeJohn
45		The Natural Way of Farming - The Theory and Practice of Green Philosophy	Masanobu Fukuoka
46		The Organic Gardener - How to Create Flower, Vegetable, Herb and Fruit Gardens Using Completely Natural Techniques	Christine and Michael Lavelle
47		Agri (web pages rar archives)

augmenting

2010-09-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

Teoryang Romantisismo, succintly defined as pagtakas sa katotohanan, was my graduation codename, conveniently imposed against my will, and the said graduation i ditched, only reinforced the stigma of the said label. seriously pisses me off.

coherent, much? right now, i don't have the will to fix it. live with it.

the point is that i immerse myself in massive volumes of augmented, artificial experiences contained in books and tv programs as a substitute for the mundane, pathetic excuse of a pseudo-life i've been living these past five years. Just thinking of it makes me want to bury myself alive, but alas i'm too pathetic and scared that i can't even do it.

i was doing well these past few months because i've been productive to an extent. but the paranoia is creeping in again. i've been faking enthusiasm, but it's getting harder when the entire time i just want to snap my neck in half just to permanently get out of it. i seriously need to find a way to reverse this. i'm sinking back into my old habits.

on a lighter note, i've been simmering a scifi universe in my head for months now. no idea whether it can work its way out into paper. i was looking over scifi books to make sure i don't unintentionally plagiarize, only to find out i've only read a handful. so i was under the impression that i'm unworthy of writing scifi if i'm not even aware of what i'm supposed to live up to. of course, that's impossible because i've never even tried writing fiction before, but i should still try. :P so, while searching, i only encountered mostly classics from the 40s until the 80s. i decided to hoard them nonetheless. i found it difficult to find more recent or more "advanced" stories, which is weird. most of the books i found are despite very well-written and well thought out, are mostly just modified version of cliche space operas and dystopias. or maybe, they spawned the cliches. :P i found them convoluted and rather "clinical" in approach, almost impersonal. this is probably the main reason, why most readers steer clear of them. they alienate people despite how awesome they really are, and end up being rejected without even getting to the better parts. of course, my opinions could still change because i've only briefly scanned them instead of completely immersing myself.

but still, i couldn't shake off the feeling that i've read better, even if i literally hadn't yet. later, i realized that i'm not so clueless regarding scifi since 90% of the anime i've been devouring my entire life are scifi-based. some of them, no matter how fast-paced and action-packed still end up on the trash bin because of how convoluted the explanation parts are. surely, at first i only watch them because of the giant flying robots fight scenes, but later as i grew older, i came to appreciate the premise and philosophical discourse more.

in my head, i want my story to be as addictive as chick lit so it could be digested by more people. but it turns out that if i do that, i might run the risk of dumbing it down. luckily for me, i've witnessed the anime industry trying to overcome this for a couple of decades. one of the shows that succeeded at marketing to a mainstream audience is Haruhi Suzumiya no Yuutsu. the problem with it is that brainless drones/fans completely overlooked the epic awesomeness of its scifi aspect, which is sad. all they remember are the gratuitous fanservice disguised as sexual harassment. SO SAD! D:

ANIME SCIFI
PRO: awesome awesome premises, excessive philosophical introspection, psychosis simulation, violent violence LOL, to easier empathize with characters
CON: overly commercial and peppered with dirty marketing tricks

CLASSIC WESTERN SCIFI
PRO: authors had freedom from tv execs thus more crazy, they're classic so obviously the best of their time
CON: at this point in time they're already dated, convoluted explanations

anyhoo, i hope i don't forget the stuff before i write it down. XD

limbo

2010-05-03T01:45:00.000-07:00

it's been awhile since i've last thought about blogging. updates on my last update: i quit on pursuing kikayness, because 1.) it's expensive and i still don't have a job, 2.) it's just not me. i'm not swearing it off completely, but i'm simply not ~~hygienic~~ vain enough to do all that constant maintenance. the only maintenance i do is before and after i leave the house.

my writing is getting more dismal by the second. ugh.

anyway, i'm not depressed anymore and i've learned a lot, maybe even more than when i was at school, but i'm still too chicken to talk to random people i don't really know let alone impress interviewers.

another thing is that i'm going to visit the national center for mental health in a few days. i hope i get there in one piece.

no one cares when you're in the gutters

2010-01-07T15:24:00.000-08:00

AND

everyone wants to get rid of you when you're at the top.

incredible, right?

in any case, i'm sort of contemplating about opening another blog for my new life... stop laughing! i mean it. then again, this one really grew on me. not to mention, it has been a witness to a lot of crap i've been dishing out to myself. so, i guess i'll stick with this. and besides, i still have that other wordpress account that's been rotting since forever.

so, i'm making this pact(cheesy, much?) that i will keep documenting all my crap until i've completely pulled myself out of the dumps.

meanwhile, in a completely different universe, i've been obsessed with... make-up. unimaginable! specially how superficial i used to think of it was. but, i've been brainwashed by all those blogs and videos on youtube that i gave up the fight and succumbed to the dark side. i don't own any other than a few eyeliners, but we'll see until after i get a job. :)

mean girls

2009-07-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

my organization sisters are now apparently assigning which set of colors member are allowed to wear. yes, reminiscent of the mean girls. i'm weirdly thankful i'm not there, because i'm particularly stubborn and they'll surely get pissed off and alienate me. i guess they are pop kids, after all... just incredibly smarter than you...

or me. i can attest to that.

must refuse

2009-07-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

to become a corporate slave doomed to make filthy rich scions even wealthier.

i'd rather be an independent farmer consuming the fruits of my own sweat, blood and tears. justice.

i hate society so much i want to kill myself.

wings of steel

2009-07-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

what if you were given the chance to fly the highest altitudes, except that you were given wings of steel instead of feather, and it would take you exponential amounts of effort and spirit just to reach the same altitude as other average feather-winged beings, and failure mid-flight means death instead of a second chance, would you still do it?

or

err on the side of caution and remain on earth?

worth

2009-06-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

"We fail primarily because we try to do
things at which we are no good."

does this mean ... ?

unheeded

2009-06-24T00:40:00.000-07:00

i promise never to browse the lookbook ever again. ever. i'm already underweight to begin with. it's driving me closer to becoming one of those tanorexics who spend every single bit of their cash on clothing.

then again, i love food too much. so much for avoiding the food channel.

my hair is begging to get washed. it's beginning to itch, now. aside from stinking. but i don't feel like doing it just because. why should i? set aside hygiene, it looks best unkempt.

glitch

2009-06-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

i fail at life for refusing to let it happen.
*
i've always felt like i have a glitch. like a missing nut or bolt that sets me apart from most people. like there's something that i don't have that everyone is supposed to have.
*
when i like doing something i do it relentlessly. so much that i dream about it and think about it every waking hour until i lose interest and it starts to feel so tedious and pointless. and later, i'll completely avoid it for the rest of my life... or at least until i forget about it, which is pretty quick.

it's a vicious cycle that spans three days on average.
*
i never conform to logic... well, not really. i usually do, to avoid annoyingly long minutes of reproach. whether physical or verbal, but i prefer physical. i've always liked corporal punishment. it's so refreshing. then again, i'm 18. my "authorities" already quit doing it. i might have to do it myself. if only, i don't bruise as easily as average people.*sigh* as for verbal, i just shed a few tears and some blind apoligies.
*
90% of the time, i blindly follow my instincts. call me stupid, but they're usually dead accurate. if it doesn't feel right, i'm never doing it. maybe this is why most people hate me. i do everything on a whim~
*
conscience. i don't really get that concept. come on, really? is that even real? why do i feel like i don't have it.
*
philosophy, too. i utterly suck at it. i absolutely don't understand it. i don't know why. are my neurons half-eaten by some zombie tumor or something?
*
my fan girl syndrome obviously doesn't belong here. so, i'm taking it where it does... livejournal, perhaps?

narc

2009-06-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

i had this insane need to give in to narcissism. and so, i did.

1. the left side of my body is significantly larger than the right side of my body. it's because i had a fracture in my right arm, which stunted my growth.

2. my favorite food is octopi and sea urchins.

3. i'd rather be lost in a dark creepy forest than be alone in a crowd.

4. i hate answering phone calls and text messaging, but i love receiving text.

5. i move around alot when i sleep. "like a helicopter", as described by my sister. that's why they hate sleeping next to me. >_>

6. i don't know my neighbors, but they seem to know me.

7. i hate horror flicks. i find them boring.

fruit and serials

2009-06-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

i have no sense of respect for myself. or anyone else, for that matter. in fact, i'm only putting up a facade, for logical purposes. i've missed some beats, for which i've been severely punished.

anyhow, i still don't feel like having it. ethically wrong, but my instincts says otherwise.

retard much?

i was born a clusterfuck. so, who knows?

cancer

2009-06-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

i have this propensity to inflict humiliation upon self. i always look disheveled. i do try my best to look neat, but i always fail. thanks a lot cushing syndrome. i wish i just had some violent cancer so i'd die in a few days.

smile?

2009-06-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

i didn't sleep for 36 hours straight yesterday and when i finally did, i dreamt of having intimate moments with someone i promised never to even spare myself a thought of. gross.

i don't know what it means. i forgot everything i learned about dream analysis in psychology 101.

make me

2009-06-10T14:14:00.001-07:00

facebook and plurk has been eating me away. i can't help being compulsive. i need help. please make it stop.

train of thought, please come back

2009-06-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

i feel as if i've learned nothing about literature and philosophy in college. fine. philosophy, yes. but still. i feel dumb. may i'll try doing some song analysis so my neurons won't completely die out.

will fill more later.

supermassive

2009-06-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

...brain damage.

i clearly have nothing significant to say.

anyhow, the constant pounding of pop and hiphop in my ears these past few weeks evidently had detrimental effects upon my mental capacity. i now lack the breadth to grasp songs that were written to be heard by people above age 8.

i feel like there's always a jelly wrapped around me that prevents me to absorb the feelings conveyed through songs, unlike i used to. am i simply numb or is the music nowadays pointless?
: \

dream

2009-06-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

the one i had a few minutes ago, in which i destroy everything good that was going for me.

do i really need to be reminded even in my sleep? :|

reverly

2009-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

i couldn't help myself. sorry, i forgot what the next part was. anyway...

I know i have Cushing Syndrome and Adult ADHD. All i need is confirmation from a highly competent endocrinologist and psychiatrist, respectively. I have all of the symptoms of both medical problems. hirsutism, central obesity, depression, psychological disturbances, polyuria, hyperhydrosis, possibility of osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus, etc. for Cushing Syndrome. Procrastination, indecision, difficulty getting started and finishing tasks, poor time management, forgetfulness, short attention-span, etc. for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I even had the symptoms for children when i was a kid. I've been through all sorts of shit, just trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me. Of course, i didn't rule out the possibility of me being simply histrionic. Oh, i've been there. seriously, i thought i had chronic depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, the list never ends. but this time, it's different. everything fell precisely into its place. the only problem i'm not entirely sure of is me having Schizoid Personality Disorder. i have all of its symptoms, except that it sometimes vary according to subgroups, but i'm not ratifying it, since its particularly difficult to diagnose.

the irony of it all, just when i finally called it quits with religion, everything finally started to make sense. sure, i didn't disregard the possibility of the existence of God. but everything started to become clearer when i accepted the fact that religion is basically propaganda. human programming, if i must say it.

now it makes sense why my life is a fucking circus in comparison to the robots surrounding me and there actually are other people like me. call me an idiot or whatever but that only bounces back to you because of your ignorance and you obviously didn't go through the same kind of hell like i did.

whew. -_-;; thank god, that was over. this took me 3 hours to write because i kept forgetting the things i want to point out. majority of which, i didn't recover. u_u; it's interesting. i've never written anything as angry as this in a looong time. quite refreshing. lots of profanity. apologies to my inexistent readers... then again, i don't give a damn.

crap, i've forgotten to take a bath. orz.

booty bop

2009-05-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

i've been laying off heavy metal and alternative rock recently to stave off depression. for some reason i've been really addicted to kpop and all the dance memes that come with it. but hey, i guess it's better for me turn into a teenybopper now than wallow in depression and later be dead.

Attention Deficiency

2009-05-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

i've always been under the impression that the term Attention Deficit means a person who craved attention. i even had the gall to spout jokes about it. thank god for illiterate people. :P Apparently, it describes a person with a really short attention-span, which i possibly am.

i've been all over the place, histrionic about all sorts of syndromes and disorders, hell bent on finding exactly what is wrong with me. Attention Deficit Disorder has been under my radar due to my evident lack of intellectual breadth or probably vocabulary. when i found it every freaking symptom clicked so hard i came. kidding.

i think i've had it since i was a kid and i think my dad also has it. funny thing is most people find it dangerous to "climb the furniture", which is apparently the most popular symptom. furniture? seriously? really? as far as i'm concerned i've climbed roofs, trees, electric poles, water buffalos... i've been bitten by most bugs like bees, wasps, spiders, centipedes and scorpions because of it. i've been trespassing on private properties since i was 6. i dug a hole under someone's fence because i couldn't climb over it because it had closely knit barbed wires, just to steal some aratiles(imagine tiny fruits). i almost sent my classmate flying to the roof of our school building, because i had fun pushing him. i tried doing it myself but wasn't successful, because no one wanted to help me.

my dad also made me and my sisters some swings tied to a really tall acacia tree and around 15 feet away from its trunk which i gladly used to catapult myself into all sorts of directions. i even invented a stupid move which i call "pinipig crunch", in which i'd spin my swing until it's really bunched up. then, i'd climb the tree and jump off while sitting in my seat. i usually hit the trunk. other than that... did i mention i also get into fist fights?

anyhow, it was hard to believe i was clan favorite and given everything i asked for. it really is freaking hard to believe that every adult i met adored and squished me to death at the same time frame i did all those silly crap. i even get lots of kiddie love letters even though i get into fist fights. eww. maybe it's because of my grades or something, which were weirdly very high despite the fact that i never did homework.

my life used to be so beautiful. *tears*

haz nothingz

2009-05-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

i've been blinded.

although, i live in a decent house with cable and high-speed internet connection next to a shopping mall, have upper-middle class friends, experiencing the best education my country can offer and have access to most things poor people can only dream of, doesn't mean i'm rich.

in fact, i'm living in poverty. my mother doesn't own the house we live in. the education i've had is mostly free, because of the scholarships. and, my friends are my friends because i'm lucky.

worst of all, i don't have a job and i'm still dependent. meaning, i have nothing. *tears*

disgust

2009-05-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

yeah, i arrogantly declared a promise in my previous entry, which i epically failed within the first couple of days. why? you guessed it. I'VE FORGOTTEN. lame excuse? yeah, sure, whatever. this is my life and i'm in charge of it. or am i...?

i miss college... i miss high school. *tears* i love my high school but i never wanted to go through the torture all over. which reminds me of a blog entry i recently read. very cute. haha. *shot* i don't want to admit it, but i'm obviously the embodiment of the aforementioned entity, albeit not in the same high school. in fact, i'm very sick of studying...

well, not really. i'm sick of the cookie-cutter education system, that's for sure. but despite the fact of being an out-of-school youth, i never really stopped devouring education materials, overanalyzing certain facts and constantly monitoring current events. hell, i even talk to my mentors more now, compared to when i was still in college.

weird ass brain is weird.

subjective

2009-05-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

i am tearing myself apart with each second that passes with me feeling helpless and alone, but can't do anything about it because my disgustingly short attention span is constantly getting in the way.

see. i forgot everything else i was about to say. *pulls hair out* ugh.

since this dump has already been contaminated with my self-centric cheese, i find no other reason why i shouldn't continue doing so. meaning: i'm going to force myself to blog everyday, or even every hour, whatever it takes to flush out all my frustrations that no one bothers to listens to, anyway.

this is the reason why most of my blog entries are short, sweet and pointless. I FORGET EVERYTHING! so, bear with me if you find this completely irrelevant or otherwise incoherent.

self-loathing

2009-05-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

people stop talking to me whenever i tell them i quit going to school.

the feeling of failing school is so microscopic in comparison to what i feel when people do this.

but hey! no one cares about what i feel, why should i? feeling an emotion is just a state of mind or some chemical activity. i shouldn't pay attention to them.

still, i hate myself.

notice the indecision?

i need someone to vent my frustrations with. i'm sick of mind-numbing smalltalk. i'm sick of being someone else's emotional wastebag. i want someone to do the same for me. if only wishful thinking ever actually grants wishes.

humility vs. confidence

2009-05-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

or pride opposed to timidity, for that matter.
people tell me that i don't open my mouth enough. but when i do, nobody listens. other than that, i don't know how much to reveal or how much information to ask from the person spoken to.
that area is absolutely gray to me. i need intervention.
ugh... writing rut. i don't even know the difference between objective and subjective, anymore. btw, this ends here.

o hai thar!

2009-05-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

blog. i've been taking this for granted again, despite the excessive stream of thoughts that have been begging me to let them out.

i think i know what has been ruining my life for years. and, there's a possibility of my life ending from that, as well.

it isn't really obvious with my current state, but i've lived a really turbulent life. so, i've decided that i'm going to write a really in-depth and intimate autobiography...

...but not today. soon.

For You

2009-05-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: di ko pa nasusubukan. so, not sure kung mabilis magbayad, pero di ko na sinama yung mga local(pinas) at medyo fishy. tsaka you need to open a paypal account, if you don't already have one. :) tsaka yung academic may phone interview at humihingi ng copy ng transcript.

Review Stream madali lang. product reviews. maliit lang bayad.

Mechanical Turk depends on the difficulty nung pinapagawa yung bayad, pero mostly maliit lang.

Associated Content academic papers. mas madali sa academia research. medyo ayos bayad.

Academia Research super academic papers. di ako pwede dito kasi tinatanggap lang nila is cum laude standing. mas mababa ng onti bayad kesa AC.

Bukisa articles. kahit anong gusto mo isulat. you get paid by the amount of unique pageviews your article gets. kaya dapat medyo marketing chever para marami bumasa.

Prospect Solution academic papers. mas madali kesa AR. not sure about sa bayad.

Academic Knowledge medyo mahigpit. they prefer oxford students or graduates. pero pag maganda ang transcript tinatanggap din yata nila.

meron pa akong alam na iba. Ciao.com maliit bayad for product reviews. Sneakindesign sobrang baba ng bayad, 1$ for a 400 word paper, kinda not worth the effort. Yung iba hindi masyado writing related kaya di ko na sinama. sabihin nyo lang sa akin kung gusto nyo pa rin malaman. :)

**

2009-04-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

WARNING: these aren't formal reviews but a cloud of brainfart. so, don't expect anything.

phantom: requiem for the phantom

bee train's new baby. Animation’s fairly pretty. just felt a bit stoic. background music's quite good, my cup of tea. ED song's done by ali project(reminds me of lulu BAAAWWW). storywise, it's my favorite generic brand of assasins-without-a-past boring philosophical emo faggotry, that i painfully endure just for the fight scenes. reminiscent of mr. and mrs. smith, except that instead of being CEOs rightaway they're at entry-level and not yet married. Zwei looks like sousuke sagara, but hotter. Ein isn't that loli, which is a plus. naturally, everyone else is very japanese despite being supposedly americans. if the animation degrade or the story gets fucked up, i won't endure it.

shang ri-la

the animation's a real hag next to the promo poster , which is a fine piece of cg art, so the animation being fugly really pissed me off. Plus! The music is total shit. the story, though, is very interesting. from what i've seen, it's a shounen(8-18? boys) series with a pink-haired loli(that isn’t baka moe! Hallelujahz!) as the protagonist, and regardless of me being anti-paedobear, I’m pro feminism. So, that’s a definite plus. However, the political premise is a bit hard to digest(i rewound it a few times before i had a grasp on what's going on. i'm that slow. sorry). the story's an interesting take on another possible outcome of the future, i've never seen going green could be so corporate and political ;3 the last fun thing to note is the impressive number of transvestites. Lol. If the plot gets hotter, I’ll continue watching this.

Eden of the east
I don’t know where to start. The plot is very fun and mysterious, but this animu is obviously character development driven given that its demographic is josei (18+ women), so yeah. The OP and ED sequences are so buttfucking awesome, they can have my babies. The OP theme song is in English (yehey~! I didn’t have to suffer reading subs while contemplating the sequence :P), not to mention vector elements and typography (I obviously ship graphic design). The ED sequence is sugoku kawaii~! *kicked by imaginary readers* it srsly is. it’s very creative and it shows that it took a lot of effort to animate, and the theme song is nice, too. even with the character design being very simplistic (same mangaka(?) with honey and clover), the animation is very smooth and fluid right down to the very accurately human mannerisms. It’s freaking amazing. They even hired American voice actors! Neat. No moar engrish. The best part is… it’s morita and hagu(honey and clover) all over again! Not only that, it’s less paedo, moar terrorism and moar nekkid!!!! KYAAAAAA~! *shot* VERDICT: A++++++++plus++plusplus+++

++ < /end of ship>

i can't wait to see BASQUASH. i heard it was made by the creators of the Macross Frontier, looks like Michiko to Hatchin, with tons of NIKE shoes and giant flying robot basketballz!!!! *stabbed* anyhoo, k-on's OP is already stuck in my head. orz...

swallowed by indecision

2009-04-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

i've been hesitating to blog for more than a week thinking my asinine thoughts are not worth publishing online in my own journal. talk about serious esteem issues. especially for someone as self-absorbed as i am.

other than mourning the end of the two anime that i've been religiously following for the past year, which is Toradora and Soul Eater. If i don't forget it later maybe i'll try to write a series review of sort, my life pretty much remains blah. although, i've finally sorted through my bookmarks. i tried out opera. i only lasted two days, before i went back to firefox. it was pretty neat and sleek. the notes feature is very useful, but i'm more familiar with firefox.

been facing a creativity wall. i've already accepted the fact that i ~~sucking fuck~~ fucking suck at coedz. btw, i downloaded notepad++. although, i hardly ever use it. anyhow, i couldn't accept the fact that i don't have even the tiniest amount of artistic talent. i'm already very adept at photoshop(as far as i'm concerned), but i couldn't come up with anything worth sharing with other people. sucks so hard.

another dilemma also bothers me. i don't like how people have been spamming search engines and how google's been monopolizing advertisements. i'm the kind of person who takes down ads where they're supposed to be, such as social website profile pages, free blogs and free webpages. so, the mere thought of putting up ads on purpose for my blog and implementing search engine spam techniques or SEO sends shivers up my spines. another thing is i'm planning to share the contents of my hard drive, meaning illegal media products. i strongly believe that the internet is meant for sharing information, but i also believe that piracy undermines all the hard work of the creators put into making a certain product. most of which, earns their living through their creations people share illegally. i'm also aware that some of the people involved in producing original content are simply money-grubbers out to steal a piece from the profit pie, and some actually produce content not worth the price they sold it, which is equivalent to greed and corruption. i also hate the fact that some websites are putting up fences by limiting their sites within their own countries, which is stupid. it defeats the purpose of having a website on the internet. and everyone uses proxy servers and dynamic ips anyway, so their efforts are meaningless. i didn't even know that my isp changes my ip every several days, until i decided to mask it sometime ago. lol.

go hurl

2009-03-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

my messy bookmarks still drives me crazy. i don't know how exactly should i organize them, but i can't help myself from bookmarking, because i'm constantly searching for new interesting stuff. it's my disease. you see, i never subscribe to feeds, though i don't use del.icio.us, yet, >:3 because i only use my own machine for surfing online.

another things is i've gather so much materials and books that 3 months probably won't be enough to digest them all. still figuring out how i'm going to condense and document them so i could get my hd rid of them and not have to spend forever reading them.

speaking of my hd, just when i finally gotten rid of my movie files ~~and man pr0n,~~ i've started getting hooked on kiddie games. i just downloaded a few for my younger siblings, but then it kind of gotten out of hand and now my hd is filled to the brim. *pulls out hair from frustrations* just when my obssession with animu and mangoes started to fade... i'm so totally immersing my head in finance books. i've got to fix my brain before my mmorpg addiction resurfaces and i start dreaming of pvp again both awake and asleep. *hurls self against a wall to snap up*

other than that, instead of catering to a specific demographic. i'll just post random contents of my hd and topics i find interesting, which is alot. but then, i'm kinda scared of the interpolz to track me down jail me for 30 months for sharing w a r e z. even if its practically the same thing from a friend lending a notebook for you to replicate before an exam. makes me rage so hard.

...

i've decided right now. still going to do it. tralalala~

the lack thereof

2009-03-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

i was browsing for some clean blogger layouts, when i stumbled upon some graphic artist's portfolio site. the layout was so pretty you could almost hear my stomach squirm and me vomit in delight. i am so very tempted to rip it off... but i won't, for the sake of artistic integrity. despite my apparent lack of raw artistic talent.
in any case, i really won't. so, rest assured. in fact, i won't be posting the link in case someone else tries to pull it off. don't worry it's not even yours. *copters off into the sunset*
EDIT: Why do blogs have to cater to niches? can't i just blog anything relevant to my interests? and still somehow earn some pennies. i haet conformity. btw, i haet coedz, too. which reminds me how fugly most profit-driven websites are. minus, the graphic design blogs and major corporations. i'm sort of scared how this thing will look after i placed ads here. other than adsense and custom(sponsor) ads, most other ads are so hideous, it makes me want to burn them alive. pisses me off.
+ i am so behind on my animu. i want to die, or at least eat cake. *cries*
oh, when will i ever have enough love?! < /endofweirdemocheese>

rekindle

2009-03-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

this morning, i switched on the tv and found out that we had NHK again. i was so hyped thinking i could watch raw live animu again, and guess what's on? Microsoft Paint Tutorial FTW!!1! it was a casual talk show kind of thing. the conversation went kind of like this:
A guy was teaching the other hosts about the various functions of Paint.
"Wow! you're so good, Mr. A. It kinda looks hard..."
"...No, it's very simple, but we must study hard..."
"But studying is so much fun!"
"...Yes, you are right..."
Then they started painting over and ruining this poor kid's photo.

After this they started selling this tutorial book with a hideous cover. This is where i tuned out and decided to watch Al-Jazeera for the lulz. Disclaimer: i know very little Japanese so there's a high possibility that i got that wrong. I can't believe the crap Japanese tv channels show during their daytime slots! (As far as i know), most animu had to be shown during graveyard hours because they couldn't afford showing them during normal waking hours(except for really mainstream shows like Bleach). And because Japan was one of the countries with the highest rate of escapism thing(something to do with recreational activities, e.g. watching tv, playing video games, shipping idols, etc.), i thought they had better tv programs.(although, i applaud the originality*or weirdness* of their concepts) Then later, i found out they replaced NHK over NAT GEO!(my most beloved channel of all time) FFTW!?1! Before i could release my nerd rage towards the general direction of the cable guys, NAT GEO returned to regular programming~~, and NHK was never seen ever again~~...

Anyhoo, i don't know how i could fix my brain, because i''m getting cold feet over the moolah thing. Plus, my ocd is causing my depression to resurface and i can't get rid of this feeling as if someone punched my guts. And, the pressure from my family is increasing, firmly suggesting i get a job. Without picking their brains, i figured they're thinking of throwing me out if i don't. By merely showing my presence to them, i feel telepathic daggers stabbing my back. And if i don't show my face, they'd get angry and drag me outside to conduct a public display of humiliation. As if my stoner neighbors have better achievements to be proud of. My life sucks. I should've been dead long ago if i didn't go shinji ikari and chicken out of commiting suicide.

P.S. Disorganized bookmarks really, really piss me off.

bears

2009-03-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

my ancient machine is so slow. it fuggin' pisses me off. it gives off this vibe as if its doing it on purpose, and it's driving me to the edge. currently freeing space on my hd. yes, this is another one of those ~~pointless self-absorbed posts.~~

pay-to-click sites really does pay the least among the groups of online money milking schemes. if anyone's still interested click here. i only tried one. the only thing i'm scared of, is if i get m a l w a r e from doing it. freaky. i'd die if my hd gets wiped out.

i'm losing enthusiasm on my personal research, which is bad. i'm currently arranging the data i accumulated over the past three days, and its the exact same time i always quit in all my previous projects. *slaps own face to snap up*

anyhow, i got a new design project. i have to design an ebay page for my aunt's shop. sounds simple, right? but in my head, it's not. it means i have to design her brand and logo and everything else in between. what's more is she wants me to teach her how i did it so she could do it herself next. i also seem to have to teach her how to advertise her shop online for more traffic. Just thinking about it, drives me nuts.

i'm also thinking of making a bunch of wallpapers for my informal pseudo-portfolio. just so i got proof that i got skillz, but i think trying to get design jobs will be hard for me because i don't have raw talent or formal education. plus, i always get psychotic on every job i get. and, when it isn't perfect in my eyes, i drown myself in tears. i'm like a ten-minute bipolar bear.

losing spirit

2009-03-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

last night i've been so psyched about the site i checked out. but right now, i'm losing it. i'm supposed to write zillions of kickass write-ups, but then i got bored. i figured, "what is the point of writing something kickass if i'm not getting the monetary credit it deserves?" And then i also thought, "what is the point of exerting effort for something if its not going to be absolutely brilliant according to my standards?" i'm crazy, you think? i'm obviously aware of it, and not in the proper frame of mind to do anything about it.

also, i decided to try ptc. i'm aware that the payouts are low, slow and 90% of them are scams. then again, i'm this for the lulz. so, piss off... kidding. have some internet cake. *hands over cake*

anyhow, i'm also thinking of changing my layout. i deciding between getting something free, designing my own~~, or altering someone else's sans their consent~~. i really love this one, but the designers might not be too happy about it after i start making profit out of this blog.

indecision is one of biggest banes of my existence. *kills self*

now, scatter

2009-03-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

i'm going to try out on of the methods for earning some dough. to be honest, i'm really excited. i've never felt this way in a really long time. the truth is i opened this blog almost a year ago for the purpose of generating an income, but never really got to it, because i never had the time, after school started, and then later the right frame of mind. which is why this place ended up as another one of my outlets for venting my frustrations.

anyhow, i'm currently undergoing research and developing a systematic scheme for all this shizzle. yes, i'm that obssessive about everything i get into, but i have a long history of doing everything half-assed. so, i could never really tell.

saywut?

2009-03-20T06:18:00.000-07:00

my puny brain is simply bursting upon seeing the plethora of methods for generating income online while researching. but first i should prolly clear my head of all nuisance. the fact that i didn't know until now what SEO means and its significance in herding readers... i lost my train of thought.

switch

2009-03-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

i was thinking of switching back to wordpress *stoned*. i'm sorry. srsly, i get it. what is the point of switching over to a more powerful blogging tool when i hardly lay my hands on this one, much less maximize fully its capabilities? i know, you're thinking,"what the flying fuck is your problem?! no one even reads this semi-existent pile of crap!". *beaten up by imaginary readers*

well, this time i'll try to blog as much as i can, and practice writing more sensible content other than the usual pointless nausea of inner turmoil and cowardice.

status: degradation

2009-03-19T02:43:00.000-07:00

a friend once told me that the only thing she fears other than (her) God is stagnation, which is a pretty scary thing if you live in my environment of overachieving geniuses. And, degradation which is definitely more horrifying isn't making things any easier for me. But one thing's for sure, i'm not going back to college because we can't afford it. *internet high-five!* heck, we could hardly even afford decent food anymore. stupid recession. anyhow, i still have the internet. and i need to make money. so, yes. i'm finally getting my ass out of this bed. but not to work, mind you. sure i've got several companies i'd like to enter just for the learning experience *kicked*. yes, it's true. there are several corporations i'd like to be a part of, but my lazy ass, pessimism and irrational fears are preventing me to do so. evidently, it's out of the question.

i must stop this degradation. must...

anyhoo, i'm going to stop immersing myself in epic shonen mangoes, start reasearching and try my hand on gaining some profit online to at least relieve some grief and disappointment out of my clan. maybe, i'll even start learning programming again *reliving the terrors of 5-hour practical programming exams*. que horror.

jaded

2009-02-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

i really am. somehow, it's sort of coming off and i've started taking interests in things again, but my train of thought always end up in me never having enough drive and capacity, and i will ultimately fail, like i always do.

just tried uploading a video...

2009-01-24T04:24:00.000-08:00

i did it for the lulz don't kill me. :3

...

2009-01-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

i've been avoiding this issue with the best of my abilities, to the extent of removing even the slightest thoughts of it even by physical means such as flailing my own head againts a wall. i've been successful at forgetting it for several months by means of sleepless nights of anime and 4chan, corrupting my mind with abomination, right to its very core, just for it not to resurface. tonight, i've failed. in hopes of improving my tagalog vocabulary, i ended up landing in peyups, which i told myself never to venture into. i even sort of sworn to myself i would never shed a tear for it ever. and just reading a single column broke me into a million of tiny pieces. yes, i'm talking about my dead academic career. the details are unclear, you say? i have no desire of increasing my inner turmoil. so suffer the lack of context. for me, its ** or nothing. that's very shallow and immature of me. i know. you wouldn't know what it feels unless you are me.

in the end, it all boils down to the fact that i don't have what it takes to get there. i don't have enough drive to do it. i do everything half-assed and i couldn't change myself, because its what i am. i've pushed my luck so much and i know as hell how much of it i've got. but i can't rely on luck alone and i'm not happy with it anymore. it's no fun anymore. i don't know where to go or what path to pursue.

i'm not ready to face it. i don't even want to face it. i just want to either end it all or retire permanently.

never hopped on the bandwagon

2009-01-22T23:56:00.000-08:00

there's so much stuff i'd like to blog lately but am too lazy to even sign in.

i've recently been alto whoring. imma print some pics later. maybe i'll try drawing him. then again, i prolly won't reveal it as my anatomy skillz suck balls.

anyhoo, my mom picked up a puppy off the middle of the street. meet GUNDAM.

isn't he the most awesome puppy evarr?!?!

imma blog whore alto-hime laterr.

blood, frozen in snow.

2008-12-19T14:21:00.000-08:00

i just saw the rurouni kenshin[samurai x] ova tsuikohen[trust and betrayal] and seisohen[reflection]. deep. dark. romantic. absolute love. really far from the 'oro'-filled main series. absolutely awesome, nonetheless. the soundtrack alone tore me apart. the animation leaned more on realism in comparison to their forerunner. the story and how they were pieced together is amazing. i really loved it. exactly, my brand of romance. i can't believed it took me this long to finally get to see this. it reminded me how horrifying shedding blood really is.[watching too much soul eater made me think blood looked funny.] although i honestly am sick of watching rurouni kenshin over and over in english, tagalog and japanese[my sisters really doesn't.], i still miss seeing it. it reminds me of my childhood and the values they contained that i have obviously forgotten. my all-time favorite anime that shaped my perception[atleast before i got this way(hikikomori)], other than hunter x hunter. the anime being shown nowadays are sort of lacking. it's not that they're bad. it's just that most of them are filled with too much ecchi and psychosis.[they just turn me paranoid and horny] not to mention that most of them are made for adults or really young kids[lolis and shotas], none for me[18 year old who thinks as if she's 12]. very few of them contain the same spirit and inspiration that made me fall in love with anime in the first place.[naruto, bleach and one piece has it, though.]

anyhoo, i wasn't content with rurouni kenshin's final episode so seeing these made me really happy and depressed at the same time.[ which i always do whenever i finish a really good anime] makes me yearn for more. makes me wish it ran like dragon ball /z. but alas, even dragonball /z is overr. *cries some more* it also sort of makes me reevaluate my stance against life.

but then, i also saw 5 centimeters per second, which only strengthened my stance that living is pointless.

aside from knowing my condition is called being a hikikomori and starting to walk all over the house instead of lying in my bed for months. this is my first attempt to reconnect with society. so, yay me! then again, no one reads my blog. but i've been avoiding this since i got this way. so, this is a big step. atleast, in my book. before, i even supress or withhold composing thoughts regarding none escapist concepts. i'm a total romantic. everyone else knew from the start. crap. i'm really beyond my limits because i never finish anything. so there.

i never finish anything

2008-09-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

i know, right?
i've been really wanting to vent out my thoughts online so bad, but i always get scared of coming out of my room. forgive thee for not having internet connection. i really am. sorry, that is. this has really been disjointed. i had to suffer venting my exploding brain on paper, where my hand couldn't possibly keep up with the rate of flow of my brainfarts. i tried journalling(?) on my pc. i really did. but that's so boring because no one else could read it and i started writing of confidential stuff embedded in fiction. so, technically, those aren't journal entries. i hate the fact that my right hand couldn't keep up with my left. i know no one else reads this blog anyway. but it gives me joy thinking someone could stumble upon my blog and contemplate my pointless thoughts.
i always get carried away by my daydreams. i couldn't control my daydreams. i have early signs of schizophrenia. i couldn't stand school. i hate it. i'm losing my mind. people are going to kick my ass for this, but i'm filing leave of absence. that is, if i muster enough drive to get out of the trouble i dug myself into. i'm going to hell. someone save me.

i can't stand school. i need to love school again. i never learn anything. i never remember anything. i feel so worthless. but then, nothing i do is worth anything, to beging with.

i have no conscience. i can think of the right and wrong stuff, but it feels so wrong forcing myslef to do anything according to 'morals' when i don't even feel anything about it. i feel nothing. i feel dead. i lost hope, too. dunno how to generate more. my brain damage is getting worse.

though seemingly disjointed, this entry is worth moarrrr than what i posted in the past few months.

i need to remember how to live again. remind me to get out of my room and do crap like i used to.

i need to dump...

2008-09-06T03:52:00.000-07:00

my thoughts out. real bad. /*but this stupid net cafe started reeking of yucky smelling guy cologne. reminds me of the time i almost passed out during flag ceremony in high school, because i sprayed too much body spray on myself. i can't stand it. i'm going to barf. i'm leaving.*/ 'till next time~! :D

surreality(?)

2008-08-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

i've been living in my dreams*am i on crack? no* , literally. i lost all my logical abilities. it's like i'm on permanent auto-pilot. At first, it was cool i could do that. By autopilot, i mean my body follows strictly my daily routine without thinking. That sounded retarded. i know. /*i'm kinda freezing to death here. so, i'll leave this here. i'll continue this later.*/

stagnation

2008-08-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

after i moved back into my old place, i totally forgot all about this blog. and, i felt so sorry for it. *i shamelessly confess to treating my journals like animated beings* the truth is i have free internet connection at my place and i got my machine with me. all that's missing is a usb wifi thingie, due to the fact the my machine doesn't have a wifi thingie built in with it. so, yeah. i'm guilty of being entirely negligent of everything that i used to take care of, which i don't know whether i should feel really bad about it, like i should. because right now, i don't feel anything at all. i don't care about anything, at all. even with my acads, which is my number one priority, but i still end up failing anyway.
in the past 2 months, i managed to flunk 5 out of my 7 major exams. beat that. i cried once. and, i forced myself into it just to prove to myself i still have feelings. i don't want to go numb. it'll wreck havoc on my academic life. *flashesback to 1.5 years ago when i wanted to go numb to avoid pain from...* anyhow, i also managed to deteriorate my social life*if it ever existed* by staying away from people i really want to be friends with but end up snobbing, and people, generally. i should rot in hell.
someone save me.

earth calling, j*****h. wake up, sleepyhead! no one wants to be friends with you, to begin with. so, why bother dreaming? stick to reality. go back to unconsciously/instinctively pissing people trying to make contact(say wut?!). i kid.i guess i do need people, but i lost every sort of social skill any human being comes built in with.

home... at least, i think so.

2008-06-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

i found a place to stay, but i'm still unstable. craze keep my guts aways from me. (?)
anyhoo, i can't focus. i'm busy listening to the brewrats radio drama, "Iputok mo sa Labas".
i was so pissed yesterday, i cried everytime someone reminded me of that thing.
well, til later. After my mind's all cleared up.

chronicles of a homeless person

2008-06-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

there. i'm still homeless. i have a lot of stuff to deal with, and i couldn't do anything about those other stuff until i completely get out of this mess. it pisses me off as much as it makes me feel kawawa.
anyhoo, i give all my love to those people concerned and willing to share their beds to a shamelessly homeless person like me. :)

a glimpse of the past

2008-06-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

a few moments ago, i started reading my previous blog entries from other blogs dating back during my high school days. i was amazed how well i expressed my thoughts in written form back then. and then it hit me. i'm deteriorating. i seriously need to start learning useless stuff again.
on a side note, my first day of school starts tomorrow. And, i have nowhere to live, due to some complications made by some ~~bad~~ people i know. so, there.
Remember not to step on me while i'm sleeping next to the atm where i withdraw my allowance.

edit:
i miss going to my geeky conventions. i always miss these events. they always seem to happen during exam seasons. then again, every other week is exam season in my school, and there's no chance of that ever changing. So, my new school year resolution is to, "study hard, goof off harder~!". nyar :3

an attempt at productivity

2008-06-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

As a simple introduction, for those uninformed. i am an extreme procrastinator, and is in dire need of help. Mere mention of any sort of work will send me scurrying back under my rock. So, forgive me, if the following words you see are anything short of pathetic.

Today, i did my laundry and then i attended a small meeting. Afterwards, i got dragged into a birthday celebration and ate some pancit.

I'm sorry. That's as far as i could go.