a friend once told me that the only thing she fears other than (her) God is stagnation, which is a pretty scary thing if you live in my environment of overachieving geniuses. And, degradation which is definitely more horrifying isn't making things any easier for me. But one thing's for sure, i'm not going back to college because we can't afford it. *internet high-five!* heck, we could hardly even afford decent food anymore. stupid recession. anyhow, i still have the internet. and i need to make money. so, yes. i'm finally getting my ass out of this bed. but not to work, mind you. sure i've got several companies i'd like to enter just for the learning experience *kicked*. yes, it's true. there are several corporations i'd like to be a part of, but my lazy ass, pessimism and irrational fears are preventing me to do so. evidently, it's out of the question.

i must stop this degradation. must...

anyhoo, i'm going to stop immersing myself in epic shonen mangoes, start reasearching and try my hand on gaining some profit online to at least relieve some grief and disappointment out of my clan. maybe, i'll even start learning programming again *reliving the terrors of 5-hour practical programming exams*. que horror.