i fail at life for refusing to let it happen.
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i've always felt like i have a glitch. like a missing nut or bolt that sets me apart from most people. like there's something that i don't have that everyone is supposed to have.
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when i like doing something i do it relentlessly. so much that i dream about it and think about it every waking hour until i lose interest and it starts to feel so tedious and pointless. and later, i'll completely avoid it for the rest of my life... or at least until i forget about it, which is pretty quick.

it's a vicious cycle that spans three days on average.
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i never conform to logic... well, not really. i usually do, to avoid annoyingly long minutes of reproach. whether physical or verbal, but i prefer physical. i've always liked corporal punishment. it's so refreshing. then again, i'm 18. my "authorities" already quit doing it. i might have to do it myself. if only, i don't bruise as easily as average people.*sigh* as for verbal, i just shed a few tears and some blind apoligies.
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90% of the time, i blindly follow my instincts. call me stupid, but they're usually dead accurate. if it doesn't feel right, i'm never doing it. maybe this is why most people hate me. i do everything on a whim~
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conscience. i don't really get that concept. come on, really? is that even real? why do i feel like i don't have it.
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philosophy, too. i utterly suck at it. i absolutely don't understand it. i don't know why. are my neurons half-eaten by some zombie tumor or something?
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my fan girl syndrome obviously doesn't belong here. so, i'm taking it where it does... livejournal, perhaps?