i couldn't help myself. sorry, i forgot what the next part was. anyway...

I know i have Cushing Syndrome and Adult ADHD. All i need is confirmation from a highly competent endocrinologist and psychiatrist, respectively. I have all of the symptoms of both medical problems. hirsutism, central obesity, depression, psychological disturbances, polyuria, hyperhydrosis, possibility of osteoporosis and diabetes mellitus, etc. for Cushing Syndrome. Procrastination, indecision, difficulty getting started and finishing tasks, poor time management, forgetfulness, short attention-span, etc. for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I even had the symptoms for children when i was a kid. I've been through all sorts of shit, just trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me. Of course, i didn't rule out the possibility of me being simply histrionic. Oh, i've been there. seriously, i thought i had chronic depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, the list never ends. but this time, it's different. everything fell precisely into its place. the only problem i'm not entirely sure of is me having Schizoid Personality Disorder. i have all of its symptoms, except that it sometimes vary according to subgroups, but i'm not ratifying it, since its particularly difficult to diagnose.

the irony of it all, just when i finally called it quits with religion, everything finally started to make sense. sure, i didn't disregard the possibility of the existence of God. but everything started to become clearer when i accepted the fact that religion is basically propaganda. human programming, if i must say it.

now it makes sense why my life is a fucking circus in comparison to the robots surrounding me and there actually are other people like me. call me an idiot or whatever but that only bounces back to you because of your ignorance and you obviously didn't go through the same kind of hell like i did.

whew. -_-;; thank god, that was over. this took me 3 hours to write because i kept forgetting the things i want to point out. majority of which, i didn't recover. u_u; it's interesting. i've never written anything as angry as this in a looong time. quite refreshing. lots of profanity. apologies to my inexistent readers... then again, i don't give a damn.

crap, i've forgotten to take a bath. orz.