i just saw the rurouni kenshin[samurai x] ova tsuikohen[trust and betrayal] and seisohen[reflection]. deep. dark. romantic. absolute love. really far from the 'oro'-filled main series. absolutely awesome, nonetheless. the soundtrack alone tore me apart. the animation leaned more on realism in comparison to their forerunner. the story and how they were pieced together is amazing. i really loved it. exactly, my brand of romance. i can't believed it took me this long to finally get to see this. it reminded me how horrifying shedding blood really is.[watching too much soul eater made me think blood looked funny.] although i honestly am sick of watching rurouni kenshin over and over in english, tagalog and japanese[my sisters really doesn't.], i still miss seeing it. it reminds me of my childhood and the values they contained that i have obviously forgotten. my all-time favorite anime that shaped my perception[atleast before i got this way(hikikomori)], other than hunter x hunter. the anime being shown nowadays are sort of lacking. it's not that they're bad. it's just that most of them are filled with too much ecchi and psychosis.[they just turn me paranoid and horny] not to mention that most of them are made for adults or really young kids[lolis and shotas], none for me[18 year old who thinks as if she's 12]. very few of them contain the same spirit and inspiration that made me fall in love with anime in the first place.[naruto, bleach and one piece has it, though.]

anyhoo, i wasn't content with rurouni kenshin's final episode so seeing these made me really happy and depressed at the same time.[ which i always do whenever i finish a really good anime] makes me yearn for more. makes me wish it ran like dragon ball /z. but alas, even dragonball /z is overr. *cries some more* it also sort of makes me reevaluate my stance against life.

but then, i also saw 5 centimeters per second, which only strengthened my stance that living is pointless.

aside from knowing my condition is called being a hikikomori and starting to walk all over the house instead of lying in my bed for months. this is my first attempt to reconnect with society. so, yay me! then again, no one reads my blog. but i've been avoiding this since i got this way. so, this is a big step. atleast, in my book. before, i even supress or withhold composing thoughts regarding none escapist concepts. i'm a total romantic. everyone else knew from the start. crap. i'm really beyond my limits because i never finish anything. so there.