this morning, i switched on the tv and found out that we had NHK again. i was so hyped thinking i could watch raw live animu again, and guess what's on? Microsoft Paint Tutorial FTW!!1! it was a casual talk show kind of thing. the conversation went kind of like this:
A guy was teaching the other hosts about the various functions of Paint.
"Wow! you're so good, Mr. A. It kinda looks hard..."
"...No, it's very simple, but we must study hard..."
"But studying is so much fun!"
"...Yes, you are right..."
Then they started painting over and ruining this poor kid's photo.

After this they started selling this tutorial book with a hideous cover. This is where i tuned out and decided to watch Al-Jazeera for the lulz. Disclaimer: i know very little Japanese so there's a high possibility that i got that wrong. I can't believe the crap Japanese tv channels show during their daytime slots! (As far as i know), most animu had to be shown during graveyard hours because they couldn't afford showing them during normal waking hours(except for really mainstream shows like Bleach). And because Japan was one of the countries with the highest rate of escapism thing(something to do with recreational activities, e.g. watching tv, playing video games, shipping idols, etc.), i thought they had better tv programs.(although, i applaud the originality*or weirdness* of their concepts) Then later, i found out they replaced NHK over NAT GEO!(my most beloved channel of all time) FFTW!?1! Before i could release my nerd rage towards the general direction of the cable guys, NAT GEO returned to regular programming, and NHK was never seen ever again...

Anyhoo, i don't know how i could fix my brain, because i''m getting cold feet over the moolah thing. Plus, my ocd is causing my depression to resurface and i can't get rid of this feeling as if someone punched my guts. And, the pressure from my family is increasing, firmly suggesting i get a job. Without picking their brains, i figured they're thinking of throwing me out if i don't. By merely showing my presence to them, i feel telepathic daggers stabbing my back. And if i don't show my face, they'd get angry and drag me outside to conduct a public display of humiliation. As if my stoner neighbors have better achievements to be proud of. My life sucks. I should've been dead long ago if i didn't go shinji ikari and chicken out of commiting suicide.

P.S. Disorganized bookmarks really, really piss me off.